


The Last Stand

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-24
Updated: 2006-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-01 11:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years ago, Lex uncovered information about Clark that tore their relationship apart. Back in Smallville they finally see each other again. Can they put their past behind them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Stand

## The Last Stand

by brixxx

<http://brixxx.livejournal.com/>

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or places. No infringement of copyright is intended. 

* * *

A/N: This was written for the competition on aclexiantale on LJ, and uses a quote by Milton's `Paradise Lost'

* * *

Lex glanced at his watch impatiently, the silver hands indicating that he was already five minutes late for his meeting. Clenching his jaw, he held back the colourful curses that he wanted to let loose; he did not look forward to being submitted to one of his father's lectures about punctuality and hear the veiled threats about his suitability to work at Luthorcorp, or indeed his suitability as a Luthor. He used limousines and drivers in order to avoid this very situation. With an impatient sigh, he pressed the button on the side of the arm rest to allow him to speak to the driver through the small intercom system. 

"You came to me highly recommended by several business associates. Apparently their praise was somewhat exaggerated. If you would like to keep working for these same circles, I would suggest you drive faster," Lex commented silkily, before he released the button, cutting off the driver's stuttered apology. 

Lex rubbed his eyes with one hand as he blearily tried to focus on the figures in the paper in front of him. Just a few more hours, and he could go to Smallville for a little peace away from his father and the distractions in Metropolis, something seven years ago, he would never have imagined himself doing. Sighing he glanced up and out of the tinted window, watching the grey streets of Metropolis pass by, as his driver noticeably increased the speed of the limo. As the driver slowed at a set of traffic lights, Lex's jaw began to clench, but his breath caught as his eyes settled on a familiar figure a few metres away. 

Clark Kent. 

He would recognise that figure anywhere. Even dressed as he was in a drab suit and half drenched by the rain, Clark seemed to stand apart from everyone around him. Lex fought the urge to lean forwards and role down his window to get a better look without the interference of the tinted glass, but years of physical control, courtesy of his father, managed to keep him in his seat. 

It had been over two years since he and Clark had spoken. Two years since Lex had cut off all contact with no warning. Two years since he had found out all of Clark's secrets. 

Clark stood in the street talking to a blonde that Lex recognised as Chloe Sullivan. The familiar feeling of jealousy twisted sharply in his stomach, despite his knowledge that he had had no contact with the other man for a long time; he no longer had any say over Clark's personal life. Lex watched as Clark bent to brush his lips against Chloe's vibrantly painted ones as they stood in the crowded street, one of her hands holding a copy of her beloved Daily Planet's daily edition above her head to stave off the rain that was coming down in a fine mist. He watched as Clark said something to her, his eyes lighting up when he saw her reply with a smile, seemingly unconcerned about the rain that was wetting them both. 

For the moment, Lex could take advantage of the one-way glass of his limousine as he waited at the traffic lights, to take in all of Clark Kent. Letting his eyes roam over the tall figure, he allowed himself to indulge in his memories of the man; memories of golden skin warm to the touch, bright green eyes smiling at something he had said, and the feel of soft lips against his own. For a second an aching loneliness gripped him, and he felt the desperate desire to run out of the car to see Clark. 

The driver pulled the limousine away from the traffic lights, and Lex's view was obscured. Lex heaved a sigh: partly of relief, and partly of disappointment. Briefly he wondered if he had done the right thing years ago in dismissing Clark so suddenly. 

No. He had to do what he did, for his sake and for Clark's. He would protect Clark by keeping away. 

He resolutely turned away from the window and once again focused on the printed figures in front of him. Just a few more hours. 

On the sidewalk, Clark looked up from his conversation with Chloe, and watched the limousine until it had turned the corner, a determined look on his face. 

* * *

"Clark? Are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Chloe asked impatiently, knowing she had lost Clark to his thoughts half way through the conversation. 

Clark blinked slowly, and lifted his head from its perched position on his knuckles, flushing in embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry, Chloe," he apologised, seeing the irritated scowl on her face. He sat up straighter in the chair in the small caf that was their usual haunt, and reached out for his coffee, only to realise it was now cold. How long had he been sitting there staring into space? 

Chloe rolled her eyes, and leaned back in her chair. "So Wonderboy, exactly what is the problem this time?" She sighed. 

Clark and Chloe had remained good friends since high school, and although she had gone to Metropolis University, and he had gone to Kansas State, they had made the effort to meet up at least once a week, Although this was somewhat aided by the fact that Chloe knew about his origins, and therefore never questioned the fact that he could get to Metropolis in under three minutes, he admitted to himself, unlike most of his other friends from High School. 

He shuffled in his chair uncomfortably, his long legs trying to find a comfortable position. Avoiding eye contact, he shrugged half heartedly, knowing that he would have to tell her eventually. 

"It's Luthor isn't it?" she asked, her voice sympathetic. 

Clark closed his eyes briefly, and clasped his hands together agitatedly, the familiar feeling of loss overwhelming him. Lex and he had begun their relationship in the middle of his senior year at High School, and Chloe had been there when Lex had disappeared one morning a year later. She had been there for him when he had cried on her shoulder, wondering what he had done to turn Lex away, wondering if the older man had simply grew tired of him. She had been the only one to know of their relationship, and was the only one to see truly how devastated Clark was. 

"I saw him today, Chloe," he replied quietly, refusing to meet her eyes. 

"You need to move on from him. I know you're into the whole obsessive-dwelling type of guy, but he's a Luthor. You're better off without him," she urged, wanting to make her friend see sense. It was only recently that Clark had finally stopped second-guessing himself; being abandoned by Lex had left its scars on Clark, cementing his own fears about creating long-term bonds with anyone. 

Clark's eyes met hers in a brief glare. "Don't call him that, and I think he'll see me this time," he said shortly. 

She snorted her amusement. "What? I shouldn't call him a Luthor? Please," she snorted her derision. Luthor had willingly hurt her friend, so she felt no qualms at all with speaking her mind. "And you seeing him once means nothing. The guy has refused to see you for years," she told him, her own bitterness showing through as she grabbed her bag from its position on the table and standing up. "I know it's tough Clark, but you need to let him go." 

Clark rubbed his forehead in frustration, and she paused, realising he wasn't following her lead. Sighing she looked to the ceiling in irritation. 

"Don't go; he'll only hurt you again," she said to him. Watching him for a few moments, she knew he would disregard her advice. Shaking her head she walked out of the caf. 

Clark sat forwards and rested his hands on his knees. He knew that if he went, the chances of them resolving anything were slim, despite the way he still felt for Lex. But anything was better than not knowing. _Right_? 

* * *

` _So dear I love him_ , *that with him all deaths I could endure*, _without him live no life_.' 

Lex shut his copy of Paradise Lost viciously and tossed it on the table beside him. He stared into the fire mutinously. He had arrived in Smallville a few hours ago, and he had thought to be able to relax here at least, but everything seemed perfectly designed to mock him today. His meeting had gone terribly: he had managed to loose the deal he had spent months setting up, and of course had had to suffer the inevitable lecture from his father. On top of all that, he now had the memory of Clark Kent to deal with. Seeing Clark so happy this morning, had brought back memories and feelings he had thought that he had long since buried. He had thought to leave Clark Kent behind, along with his old life. Along with his old doubts; Clark had made him question everything he knew, had made him question his entire belief system as a Luthor. Having left Smallville he had hoped to leave behind his doubt and self-recrimination, but seeing Clark had brought back all of his old fears. 

He remembered their last night together. It had been at the Mansion in Smallville. Clark had known something was wrong, but Lex had not revealed that he had had a meeting with someone who was part of a small faction of Metropolis' criminal underground. They had found Clark's secret, and were threatening his exposure. After threatening the young man all week, they had finally gone to Lex. That was the first time he had realised exactly how different Clark truly was. 

He had stared at the photographs for a long while after the man had left him, and all of the pieces had fallen together. His first gut reaction had been betrayal. How had Clark managed to keep this secret from him for so many years? All the times that he had been present at one of these `mutant' attacks? How many times had he explained away his strange feats with excuses of adrenaline and metal fatigue? Lex was supposed to be a genius, and had been brought up to ferret out any information about the people around him, how could he have missed this? 

Maybe he simply did not want to learn the truth. 

Maybe never knowing Clark's betrayal would be the only way he could keep the young man on his idealistic pedestal. The only way he could fashion Clark as his saviour. 

His anger had sent him home to the room he kept secret from Clark, the room that he had kept all of his information about the accident on the bridge all of those years ago secret. Kept secret from Clark and the rest of the world. It was his own private obsession. Screaming he betrayal he felt, he set about routinely destroying the room; he didn't need it anymore, he had the proof in photographs now. 

The bitterness he had felt had stayed with him that night. The one person he believed he could trust was able to lie to him about something as crucial as his own origins. He was, as ridiculous as it sounded, an alien! How could Clark keep something so crucial to himself? The first contact with a world outside of their won, with technology enough to send a small child over the galaxy, and Clark had been kept himself hidden. If this information was true, the technology, hell, even Clark himself, would be of so much use to humans. 

As soon as Lex had thought about this, he had realised exactly why he should never have found out. Exactly why Clark had never trusted him. He was a Luthor. Was he really willing to offer Clark up as some experiment? The thought even now sickened him. He remembered coming to this conclusion, and rushing to the bathroom to throw up. 

Was he so much of a Luthor that he would exploit his own lover for personal gain? The thought of falling to his father's depths destroyed any hope he had of using Clark as his salvation. Never the matter that it was for a good cause. It wouldn't stay that way. Human nature had a way of distorting these things. _He_ had a way of distorting these things. A shiver of cold had slithered down his spine, and certainty had gripped him; he could never be close to Clark. The temptation would be great. He knew what he had to do. 

He had gone back to his lover that night, and the next morning, before Clark had even woken, Lex had been on his way to Metropolis. He had made his decision that night as to which world he belonged in. If Clark had realised the link between Lex's private meeting with the man, and the unidentified body found later in a fire in Metropolis' slums, Lex would never know. 

It wasn't as if Clark had never made an effort to see Lex. On the contrary, he had tried everything, bar sneaking into Lex's bedroom at night in the Penthouse, to get the older man to see him, but Lex had simply had him sent away each time. He had seen the person he was to become. Clark had no part to play in that. Indeed, knowing Clark for what he was, it was truly safer for him to never get involved with a Luthor. 

His face a blank mask, and trying to press away his uncomfortable memories, he approached his desk, and hesitantly opened the top drawer. Moving the papers aside, the afternoon sun pouring through the red stained glass from the windows behind him caught on the small lead box that sat innocuously in the bottom of the shallow drawer, creating strange shadows over its mottled surface. 

Staring a moment, knowing what the small box contained, he wondered if he could actually go as far as to wear its contents. Breathing deeply, he reached out to pick up the box with careful fingers. 

Lex opened the lead box and stared intently at the small band of metal that lay nestled in the silk lining the bottom. Hesitantly he reached out and touched the metal, feeling the small stones that adorned its surface. He picked it up, his hands shaking slightly and held it up to the light. The green stone flashed as the red light hit it, creating a sickly green glow, and Lex's breath caught. His father had been obsessed with the green stones; now Lex knew why. As if he had been burned, he dropped the stone back into the box, slamming the lid closed. He breathed deeply, and smoothed a trembling hand over his naked scalp. 

Tearing his eyes from the small box, he placed it into the desk draw, and walked towards the bar at the other end of his office, and poured himself a healthy measurement of scotch, and downed the liquid quickly. He poured himself another, and took a sip from the cut glass, closing his eyes as he felt the liquid burn his throat. 

Lex felt Clark's presence more than actually heard him. _Great_ , _exactly what I need_ : _an intervention by a Kent_ , he thought to himself. He sighed to himself; they had come full circle; it was fitting that they would finally meet here; the exact place that Lex realised that there was a world outside of the Luthor existence, the day that Clark had returned the truck after their first fateful meeting. Their meeting was inevitable: but it didn't stop Lex's stomach from knotting in anticipation of the confrontation: Clark had always been stubborn. 

"I always did need better security here," Lex commented dryly, a rueful smile ghosting around his lips, as he turned around to watch as Clark walked quietly into the room. For the first time in two years, Lex was able to look at Clark openly, and it was clear that the years had been good to him. He was still the most beautiful man Lex had ever seen. His face was older, but his expression was more closed, and he no longer dressed in the farm-boy plaid that Lex had come to adore, instead wearing a dark suit which had seen better years. 

"Why are you even here?" Lex drawled his features a picture of boredom as he pushed his right hand into the pocket of his trousers, before talking another sip of the scotch. 

"I wanted to see you," he replied quietly, looking at Lex with unreadable eyes. 

Lex raised an eyebrow in amusement, and gestured with the glass in a mock salute. "Well here I am. If you would, please make Security aware that I need to see them about their supposed standards on your way out." 

A muscle in Clark's cheek jumped as he clenched his jaw. "Just tell me what happened, Lex. That's all I'm here for." _Please_ , _God_ , _tell me why_ , Clark thought to himself. 

Lex took in the immovable pose, and rolled his eyes, trying not to show the effect Clark's voice had on him, a timbre he had not heard for such a long time. "What happened? I moved to Metropolis. Really, Clark, this happened two years ago, I do wish you'd keep up." 

"Christ, Lex," Clark snapped as he strode further into the room, his anger getting the better of him. "I deserve an answer at least." 

" _You_? You deserve an answer?" Lex asked, with a snort of sarcastic laughter. "What reason would you like? I grew bored of you. You were becoming a liability; stock prices would have fallen if the Press knew I was fucking someone underage," he said shrugging a slim shoulder. Clark closed his eyes, long lashes resting on flushed cheeks. 

"Don't be like this Lex," he whispered, as he raised a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose in frustration. Lex glanced away, the unfamiliar feeling of guilt washing over him at seeing this small gesture. 

"It was safer. Safer for you if I just left," Lex said quietly. Clark's eyes shot open and he stared hard at the slender man in front of him with an inscrutable expression. 

"Safe from what?" he asked evenly. 

Lex smiled grimly. "You remember the man that came to you the week before I went to Metropolis? I'm sure you do. He came to me too. I realised that if I left, you would be safe from people like that. People like me," Lex explained, not looking Clark in the eye. 

_God I don_ ' _t want to tell him what I did_. _Please_ , _Clark_ , _just leave it_ , Lex thought to himself. 

"Please don't tell me you left because of him?" Clark whispered, distress evident in his tone, his hands clenching into fists. The thought of Lex leaving him because of his irrational fear of becoming his father terrified Clark. A sudden shiver of fear curled in his stomach as Clark remembered something. The man had disappeared from his life after only a week, and Clark unable to let it drop for fear that it would come back to haunt him, had searched for the man. A week later the man had showed up as a victim of a fire in the Metropolis slums. Something did not sound right here. If he had seen Lex before his death... _oh_ , _God_ , he thought to himself. 

"He came to see you? I never knew...oh God," Clark whispered in horror. Lex's spine went rigid as he realised that Clark had put the two incidents together; the man's death and their meeting. 

Silence engulfed them. Finally Clark spoke. "Did you...?" he whispered brokenly. 

Lex snapped. "Yes. Is that what you want to hear Clark? Because I protect my friends," he said angrily. He glared at Clark, and grew even angrier when he saw the young man's horrified expression. 

"Can you _save_ me, Clark?" Lex yelled at him, a small part of him rejoicing in the way that Clark flinched. "It's part of me. This thing my father cultivated. I killed him to protect you, and I would do it again. You want me to be some good little boy? It's not going to happen. I'll do anything in my power to do what needs to be done, and because of that, I'll never live up to this expectation you have of me," he spat. 

"I don't expect you to be anything, Lex," Clark said, his voice calm, but his tone angry. "It's you who is trying to mould yourself into something that you think you should be. What your father wants, maybe, but it's not who you are!" Clark's stomach knotted. He was telling Lex that it was alright, but was it really? He had killed a man, not by his own hand, but as good as. Could he come back from something like that? 

"You want me to be like you Clark? And what is that, hmm? A good little boy who rescues kittens from trees? Or a liar?" he glared at Clark, years of pent up anger showing clearly in his expression. "And you dare to judge _me_. When did I ever give you a reason not to trust me?" he hissed, his eyes revealing all the pain he felt at being lied to all those years. He barked with laughter, and his expression turned triumphant. "Yes, I know, Clark. I know your secrets. Before I had that bastard killed, I had the good sense to find out everything he knew first." 

Clark went pale, and took an involuntary step backwards, unable to stop himself despite the look of hurt that crossed Lex's face. "Does that change your mind about me now? I'm not the innocent. I never will be. You lied to me, so I found out anyway. Then I killed him." 

_He knows_. _He knows_. The thought spun around Clark's mind; the irrefutable truth bombarding him like a freight train. _He killed because of me_. Could he look past that? 

The older man shook his head in disgust, his face a blank mask as he watched the young man's reaction. "Don't worry Clark, If I had meant you harm, I would have done something years ago," Lex told him, gesturing faintly in a circular motion with the glass in his hand, before turning back to the bar. He was aware of Clark watching him as he swallowed the rest of the alcohol, revelling in the burn, before he placed the empty glass on the side. He began to reach for the decanter once again, when he felt Clark behind him. 

"Do you always drink this much?" he questioned quietly, taking the bottle from Lex's hand. The bald man let out a bark of laughter. "Since when are you concerned about my welfare, Clark?" He asked incredulously, as he turned around to sneer at him. He found that the brunet was much closer than he had previously thought, and the green eyes seemed brighter than he remembered. 

"I've always been concerned for you Lex," he whispered, his eyes proclaiming the truth. The older man drew in a sharp breath at this statement, before his mouth tightened, and he attempted to move away from the warm body, that stood oh, so close. 

Briefly he wondered if it was something in Clark's alien physiology, that caused Lex to loose control so easily when around him, but the thought escaped him as soon as he felt Clark's warm hand on his arm. Lex looked up sharply at Clark, silently begging for him not to do this. 

"My well-being is no longer of your concern Clark," he said coldly, trying to pull away, and he averted his eyes, is mouth tightening. 

"It could have been. It still could be," the taller man said quietly, the longing in his eyes evident. 

Lex clenched his jaw and forced a sneer onto his face. "It can't ever be. I never took you as stupid, Clark," he spat. Clark pulled on Lex's arm until he was pulled back, until their bodies were brushing each other at the thigh. Their eyes caught, equal parts anger and desire. 

As if something had snapped, they both reached for the other, and their mouths met in a furious kiss. Clark groaned and settled his hands on Lex's hips, dragging their bodies closer together, as the smaller man wrapped his arms around Clark's neck, his fingers tangling themselves into the dark hair. Their mouths opened and suddenly their tongues met in a desperate dance. Lex sighed into Clark's mouth, and all of his anger drained away. How could he have left this? It felt so perfect, so right: Clark's warm body against his, his large hands holding onto him possessively, his tongue tracing the thin scar on Lex's top lip; it felt like coming home. 

Clark dragged his mouth away to whisper harshly into Lex's ear, "Bedroom?" Lex opened his eyes with difficulty and was immediately arrested by the raw passion and desire he saw reflected in the green eyes in front of him. Licking his lower lip quickly, and watching Clark's eyes narrow as he followed the small motion, he nodded jerkily in acquiescence. With a quick nod, Clark moved them, no longer holding back from using his powers, and Lex found himself barely a second later on his bed. Lex jerked in shock and his hands griped onto Clark's shoulders in surprise, looking around him. With a pang, Lex realised that Clark had fully accepted that he knew everything, and he smiled a small happy smile, the first for a long time. 

Clark extracted himself from Lex's grip and sat back to look at the body spread beneath his in rapt fascination. "I can't believe I'm here with you. I never thought..." his voice choked off. 

Wordlessly Lex stared at him, struggling to keep his face even. A strong hand came up to trace knuckles down the side of Lex's face. Closing his eyes to hide the emotions he knew were showing all too clearly, he turned into the touch, hearing Clark's breath hitch. The fingers left him, but were soon back on his clothing, unbuttoning his shirt. Lex remained motionless on the bed, only moving when instructed to, his eyes opening as he watched Clark reverently undress him, trailing hot fingers over the flesh he revealed, causing Lex to gasp his arousal. When he was naked, Lex watched as Clark stood beside the bed and quickly stripped. 

His mouth went dry as he was treated to miles of flawless golden skin, and never one for playing the passive lover, Lex leant forwards and traced his fingers over the taut stomach causing the muscles to flutter under his touch. He glanced upwards at Clark's face before he reached over to mouth a dusky nipple, his tongue flickering over the hard nub. He smiled against the skin as he felt the answering shudder go through the hard body. Still smirking, Lex trailed one hand down to Clark's groin, and backed away from his chest so that he could see the dark pink cock that bobbed temptingly, and wrapped his hand slowly around the base. 

Lex's gaze flickered up to Clark, seeing the lust clear in the green eyes and slowly sucked the tip into his mouth, tasting the bitter fluid on his tongue. He sucked hard for a moment, before working his tongue under the foreskin to tease at the slit. He released Clark's cock with a pop as he felt the hips beneath his hands begin to buck. Clark always was a very responsive lover, he thought, smirking to himself. 

His eyes flickered up once again to meet Clark's gaze. "I want you in me when you come," Lex said throatily. Clark's tongue slipped out and traced his bottom lip as he watched Lex move backwards to lie spread-eagled across the bed. 

The younger man followed him and laid himself down between the spread legs, his hands stroking up the lithe body, touching, teasing, and owning all that he passed, causing Lex to writhe under the onslaught. He moaned loudly as Clark slipped a cushion under his back before tracing his fingers over Lex's cock, balls, and then lower still. Lex arched off the bed completely when slick fingers brushed past his sensitive opening. The fingers teased until he was crying out for more, and a single finger slipped into his body, causing Lex to howl his desperation. This was Clark, his Clark, touching him again after so long. God, how he had missed this. As the brunet thrust his finger into his body, and carefully added a second, Lex felt completely lost in a haze of pleasure. Gone were his worries about their future, all he could focus on were those glorious fingers opening him up, making him ready for more. 

Clark's eyes darkened as he bent to kiss his panting mouth, watching as Lex came undone underneath him. He scissored his fingers, taking care to angle his fingers to brush the spot that had Lex cursing and writhing, clutching at Clark's shoulders desperately, begging for more. The older man whimpered when he removed his fingers, and Clark was incredibly aroused by the fact that he could reduce the normally controlled man to this depth of desperation. 

Lining his cock up, he slowly pushed into Lex, the older man thrusting back. When fully seated, their lips met in a slow kiss. As he began to thrust, Clark groaned into Lex's mouth as the older man wrapped his legs around Clark's waist. They began to rock harder against each other, panting, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh only fuelling their desire. When Lex reached down to fist his own cock roughly, begging Clark to go, faster, harder, they both knew it wouldn't be long. 

Clark changed his angle slightly, his body remembering the exact spot to hit to make Lex come, and seconds later, the lithe body was arching off of the sheets, crying his orgasm loudly. Clark followed seconds later, crying his own release into Lex's shoulder, his shuddering body coming to rest on top of Lex's own sated one. 

They lay perfectly still for several seconds, trying to ignore reality. Clark gently withdrew and with the edge of the sheets beneath them wiped them both clean, before he settled down next to Lex, pulling the lax body close to him. With a sigh, Lex closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep in his lover's arms. 

* * *

When Lex awoke, he felt utterly refreshed and relaxed. Sleepily he cuddled into the warm body next to his. Seconds later, had his eyes opening in shock, and he pulled sharply away from the body. He had promised himself that he wouldn't let this happen again. How could he let someone so innocent be tainted by this, by him? 

"Lex?" Clark's sleepy voice asked, his hands reaching for the rigid body. Lex shook his head slowly, and slowly let himself be pulled back. _Maybe I can have this_ , _just for a little while_ , he thought to himself as he felt the strong arms wrap around him. 

"Clark, I can't do this," he said simply. 

"Lex, what are you doing? This isn't you," Clark whispered, his breath tickling the back of Lex's neck. 

"Yes it is, Clark," Lex sighed, pulling away from the warm body. 

"If you're not careful, Lex, you'll become a Luthor, you'll become your father, and I know you are so much better than that," Clark told him, his eyes pleading with him as he pulled him back and brushed Lex's cheek gently with his knuckles. The older man leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed, hiding the pain that Clark had spied there. 

"Isn't that's who I'm supposed to be?" Lex whispered brokenly. 

"Never," Clark said with conviction, pulling him into his arms to hold him as tightly as he dared. 

Lex surrendered to the desperate embrace, and clung to Clark's arms tightly, trying to imprint this feeling into his memory. He wondered if Clark knew? Would he ever know how much Lex loved him? The innocent farm boy was the only one who had ever believed he could be more than a name. Finally he felt Clark's body relax into sleep, and fighting the urge to fall asleep as well, and let the future be damned, Lex pulled away from his lover and slipped out of the bed. 

For a moment he watched his lover. He looked so innocent lying there, like the last two years had never happened; his face relaxed in sleep, long lashes lying against rosy cheeks, mouth parted slightly. For a moment Lex wished he had never seen Clark that morning through the limousine windows; that he could remain unaffected by their meeting. Clark might be lying in his bed, but Lex felt like the tinted glass still separated them. 

Without a backward glance, Lex gathered his clothes and left the room, his heart breaking. 

As he left the room, the words from Paradise Lost that he had read earlier that afternoon came back to him, `... _without him live no life_.' Lex ignored the pain as he choked down a sob. He was Lex Luthor, he could do this; he was born to do this. If that's the way it had to be to protect the one thing he loved, then so be it. 

The next morning he put on the Kryptonite ring. 


End file.
